Week 3    Day 2

    Listen:

More from the Gospels, and Separation

The Law in Mark and Luke

Mark 10

10. And in the house again His disciples asked Him of this [matter].

11. And He says to them, “Whoever shall send away his wife, and wed another, commits adultery against her.

12. “And if a wife sends away her husband and be wed to another, she commits adultery.”

Luke 16

18. Everyone who sends away his wife, and weds another, commits adultery; and everyone who weds her that is sent away from [her] husband commits adultery.

From the Christmas Story

Matthew 1

18. And the birth of Jesus Christ was in this way: His mother Mary, being betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, was found with child from the Holy Spirit.

19. And Joseph her husband, being just, and not willing to expose her to public infamy, intended to send her away privately.

20. And while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, fear not to take to thee Mary thy wife, for that which is begotten in her is from the Holy Spirit.

21. “And she shall bring forth a Son, and thou shalt call His name Jesus; for He shall save His people from their sins.”

Causes for Separation, not Divorce

Conjugial Love 251

There are several reasons for separation. Separations can be separations from the bed or separations from the house. Reasons for separations from the bed are many, likewise for separations from the house. But here legitimate causes are treated of. As the causes of separation coincide with the causes of concubinage⁷, to be treated in their own chapter in the following part of this work, the reader is referred to that, to the end that he may see the causes in their order. The legitimate causes of separation are those that follow.

Conjugial Love 252

The first reason for legitimate separation is an impairment of the mind. The reason for this is that conjugial love is a union of minds. If the mind of one grows apart from that of the other, therefore, this union is broken, and love fades with it. It can be seen what sort of impairments lead to separation from an enumeration of them. They are, accordingly, in large part the following:

Psychosis. Organic psychosis. Insanity. Actual idiocy or imbecility. Amnesia. Severe neurosis.

Extreme simplemindedness so as to lack any perception of goodness and truth. Utmost stubbornness in not complying with what is just and fair.

Taking the greatest pleasure in prattling and talking only about inconsequential and trivial matters.

Having an uncontrollable urge to divulge secrets of the home. Having an uncontrollable urge to argue; to strike blows; to take revenge; to act maliciously; to steal; to lie; to deceive; to blaspheme.

Neglect of the children. Intemperance. High living. Excessive extravagance. Drunkenness. Lack of cleanliness. Shamelessness. Resorting to sorceries and witchcraft. Impiety.

Many other disorders could be listed as well.

By legitimate reasons here we do not mean judicial ones, but ones legitimate to the other partner. Only rarely are separations from the house decreed by a judge.

Conjugial Love 253

A second reason for legitimate separation is an impairment of the body. By impairments of the body are not meant incidental illnesses which befall one or the other partner during their marriage and pass away. What are meant are persistent conditions which do not pass away.

Pathology tells us what these are. Being of many types and kinds, some, for example, are diseases by which the whole body is so thoroughly infected as to raise the possibility of death by contagion. Conditions of this sort include: Malignant and pestilential fevers. Leprosies. Venereal diseases. Gangrenous infections. Cancerous sores. And other comparable conditions.

Other afflictions are conditions by which the whole body becomes so thoroughly burdened as to make close companionship impossible, or which are accompanied by unhealthy exhalations and noxious vapors, either from the body’s surface or from its inner parts, particularly from the stomach and lungs... And especially if the face is disfigured by various afflictions.

Conjugial Love 254

The third cause of legitimate separation is impotence before marriage. The reason why this is a cause of separation is that the end of marriage is the procreation of offspring, and by such it is impossible; and as they know this beforehand, they purposely deprive their married partner of the hope of it, the hope which yet should nurse and strengthen their conjugial love.

⁷ Rogers translates concubinatus as “taking a mistress.”

previous		next